i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
