Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
