physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
