Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
These tits shall not be calmed
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