As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
