Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He's a Shit stain on my heart
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
