oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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