SEEEEXXX PLEASE
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
