? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
