i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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