Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
