In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
