In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize