I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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