around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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