Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
