NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
