sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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