So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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