My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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