dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
