dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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