evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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