Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
