I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
