They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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