Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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