so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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