I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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