Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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