Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
