Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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