The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I would fuck him just for his dog
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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