Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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