so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
