and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
