I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
