Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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