If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
