You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize