god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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