If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
