do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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