So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
