So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I feel like abortions should bother me more
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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