i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
