TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
