I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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