My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
