Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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