I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize