He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
