He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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