And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
