its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
