I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
