I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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