Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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