marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize