he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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