margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
