Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You can't just leave with hair like that
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
