would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
