quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
She bit a glass in half.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
