i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
It was confusing and full of hummus
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
