All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize