Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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