I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
