you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
