We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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