she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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