we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
FUCK WHALES
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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