I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
