He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
