I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
