And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
