I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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