you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
