The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
