I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
