We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
