That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
