I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize