I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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