whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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