It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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