So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize