she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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