so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
